The Scam Man Speaks in His Ethnic Voice
Yesterday we went to a seminar advertised in an infomercial. Why? Because The Guy on television said the company had done research on all the housing programs for first-time homebuyers and had lists of federal properties for sale, etc., etc.
I already keep track of the local properties that are up for sale because of defaulted loans. After the big real estate bubble in California deflated, a lot of people walked away from the no or low downpayment houses. By making homeownership easy with VA loans and other federal programs, the government also made it easy for people to walk out on mortgages that were for more than the house was worth in the current market.
So grumble, grumble, I went to the seminar. Ten dollars didn't seem like a lot of money for an informational seminar, 3 books on homebuying and the much vaunted lists of affordable properties. The crowd of 350 were mostly black and immigrants of various ethnicities.
The "Certified Teacher", who we shall call Jose Gomez instead of his real Hispanic name, came on with all the energy and panache of a Motivational Speaker. "Raise your hand if you've done this!..Raise your hand if you want...Raise your hand...Repeat after me...Raise your hand...Repeat after me..." Even his assurance that raising my hand would increase my oxygen supply was not enough to get me to join in the Real Estate Revival meeting. "No questions now--You understand. If I answer one question, everyone will want a question answered!" I felt like I had paid $10 for a sit down, shut up brainwashing session and was getting nervous about an impending disclosure of which con we would be pressured to contribute to.
But No Worry Needed. Jose calms the crowd with "I know you're all wondering what we get out of this arrangement where we put together the deal and you get a house. We get paid when you move in. Can you say that? We get paid on the back end, after You Move In."
Before he got down to details, he had to share the story of his life with us. He showed the photos of his wife and their two girls. He told the story of the 5 miscarriages he had been through (apparently his wife was not affected, or at least he didn't indicate she was). He's a Home Schooler. That got to me. If the man was smart enough to home school his kids, maybe this deal was legitimate.
More personal disclosure. He was sooooooo poor when he grew up. How poor was he? His family rented! If you could have seen the photo of the little house where he and his parents and his 6 siblings lived. They only had One Bathroom! And if the rent was raised, they had to move to a cheaper neighborhood. His life had been A Struggle! And he knew other people had even harder lives, it was just...well, he had to tell us more.
His father took the other children and left his mother who had a brain tumor but they couldn't afford a Good Operation, so she had the Cheap Operation that apparently consisted of cutting off part of her head and left her with a speech impediment and by the time he was 14, the Certified Teacher had been arrested many times and was headed for Federal Prison--his counselor Said So! Enter Big Brother Mr. Richards, who took the Certified Teacher under his wing and gave him a job and lots of financial advice and restored his dignity.
Interwoven in the narrative were the Ethnic Remarks. In HIS CULTURE: Family comes first. (Subtext--not like you other races/whites who don't care at all about your family.) When the father who left the mother needed a heart operation, the Certified Teacher paid for it because in HIS CULTURE, family is the most valuable part of life (subtext: not like you greedy Americans (whites?) who never help your families).
Then the digs. "I'm Spanish, but of course some of you wouldn't understand that."
"After I get you your house, you'll be saying: he helped me, so you leave him alone."
Working in the Aren't We All Victims in This Nasty Country arena: "Have you gone to get a house loan, and been turned down" and "didn't you just know that you had been discriminated against?" (Subtext: Bad credit is not related to bad money handling skills--it's discrimination! Bigots made you fail.")
He promised to fix all that. He promised to fix bad credit, and make bankruptcy problems disappear, and told more touching more stories about his family. Then the photos of his big white house on 5 acres with a pool in Seattle, Washington. The story of Plucky Jose getting the helipad he'd always wanted even though those nasty neighbors didn't want helicopters landing in their neighborhood. And now his family home was going to have 6 bathrooms, because that's what he'd always wanted.
Two hours later, my posterior was sore from sitting. No information except the Story of Jose and wouldn't it be grand to own a house, your very own house. Oh, the stories he told of handing the husband the keys after the final walk-through and the husband has tears in his eyes.
Two hours of sizzle and not a bite of steak. And then...A Bite. Jose told us about a church program in Sacramento, California that shakes down developers for contributions in exchange for buying the surplus housing inventory at a wholesale rate--apparently with tax paid subsidies. There were 3 federal programs which were -"Can you repeat after me?: "Time Sensitive" (Subtext: Get It While You Can!- who cares who paid for it?)
Me wishing I could yell: Who knows when the taxpayers will get tired of their indentured servitude and pull the plug on the public housing trough?
Finally, the Wind Up. "And membership in this organization normally costs One Thousand Dollars, but if you join...TODAY!...you can have it for $500, and we have up to one year to get you a house...and the money is Reimbursable...and what would the realtors and lenders think if we let just Anyone into this program?..."
Two and one-half hours to get to the real deal. Lots of trusting folks corraled and taken to market. Oh, Blast. He lied. He took two and one-half bloody hours to get to the truth. I had sat in my seat and listened to those ethnic jabs. I didn't stand up and say "Who the hell are you to make snide comments when by your own admission, the man who helped you when you were down was a Mr. Richards? Is that a Hispanic name? Punjabi? Mandarin? Nicaraguan? Take Your Culture Con and Shove It."
The Professional Ethnics are always working the vein. Race was not an issue when the crowd walked into the room. The objective was to get a house. But of course, they couldn't do it by themselves, or they already would have. So you would have to get help. You need help. You could trust Jose. After all, wasn't he a Poor Ethnic Who Made It?
You could trust Jose. About as far as you could throw him.
Copyright 1997 Elena Haskins. All Rights Reserved.
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